Learning not to Envy Others...

THIS is something ive honestly struggled with. Seeing someone get something nice, new and shiny...All I can do is drool. Then it turns into jealousy and me hating on that product till im over it.

Yup thats just childish and I know it. I know im a better person than that. But my whole life watching others all I wanted was to be THEM. Dress like them, be popular like them...etc. I never did really learn to be happy with what I had till recently. Im still struggling with envy but it has gotten better. This tax season was actually the easiest for me. I did not spend my time envying others. I worked on getting what I wanted...because I wanted those things. Not because it was the "it" thing to do ya know?

The hardest one for me it seems is cars...Quite a few people got brand new cars and of course I was jealous and upset that I couldnt get one. The fact is im married to a man who will never drive a new car. Not because we cant afford one but because he prefers older cars. Always has always will.  And to be honest I actually DO love my odyssey. Its not new or fancy but I love it all the same. I will never have a car that has built in DVD/Nav or leather for that matter.

I just have to remind myself that a new car isnt whats important right now...my new son and two other kids are. Making my marriage work is. Staying healthy is...etc. I need to remember to focus on those things and stop envying others when there is no need. Others can have and do deserve those nice things and thats not wrong. I however am going to work on being OK. Im going to work on not needing those nice, new and shiny things.

It wont happen over night. But I will get there. I still have so many insecurities from my past that have invaded my present. Its daunting to be honest. Insecurities have driven so many of my choices and I hate that. I can and will be a stronger person. I will not care what others do, say or have. My focus should be on me and my family. Ugh wish me luck...