A little of everything

This is gonna be all over the place lol. 

First off I wanna say I'm so excited for Christmas this year! For the second time the kids will be celebrating with family and getting presents. Now I know presents aren't what holidays are about but it's still nice for them to get things and not just from Jeff and I. We are getting gifts for his family too and I'm so happy to be able to buy the family presents. It's just nice to all be together and see the kids light up! 

Second I'm super excited to be taking care of me! In two weeks I'm getting my hair done! And this week I'm getting my nails filled in and a pedicure. I've never really spent much time on me and it feels nice. I feel so pretty on top of that! Like by doing this I have a little more confidence than before. I hope to be able to keep doing this.

Halloween 2013!

First Halloween in WA!

We went to Caleb's school Halloween function and to trunk or treat at a nearby church. It was so much fun and  I loved it so much better than going door to door. I think we will repeat this next year!

Who says...

Who says that I have to do anything according to others rules?
Who says I have to follow societys dictates?
Who says that I cannot be allowed my own opinion without judgment?
Who says I cant do what I want when I want...

Apparently everybody says...thats who!

I have no idea where im going with this so it just might be all over the place...bare with me:/

Many know how Jeff and I met and all that goes with it...Yet somehow Im still getting judged on how I went about things. Im sorry but are you me? Who the hell are you to judge what 'I' did, why I did, how I did...etc? YOU do not have to agree but you also do not have to put your two scents in.

Complete crap if you ask me.

I met Jeff ONLINE while STILL married to my now ex-husband...BUT We were LEGALLY separated and preparing for divorce. So NO I did not cheat. We werent even living together!
Sheesh...Society says I have to do things this ONE or be judged. Im sorry but I WILL do what makes ME happy not society!

My first marriage was over long before I walked out. No I did not see the need to blast my marital issues all over facebook. I kept things private as they should be. I announced my relationship with Jeff because I was/am happy!

Yup we did move fast...nope I do not regret it. Best decision I ever made!

Im happier, my kids are happier and we are having a baby together who is more loved than I ever thought possible.

Jeff and I met in August and moved in together in September...Ask anyone who knows me WELL...ask anyone who knows Jeff personally and ALL will tell you theyve never seen us happier.
We have both been married and divorced...we didnt JUMP into this blindly. We KNEW what we were getting into.

Theres no way in hell I would have moved in with a man I "barely knew"...with two kids and all. I KNEW him. I KNEW his heart. I TRUSTED my GUT and MY HEART. Believe it or not. I did NOT move in with Jeff for ANY reason other than I loved and still love him.

I had him checked out...background and Sex offender checks...I followed my MOMMY gut too.
I was and am not stupid. I was never afraid to be alone. I had a job lined up, school ready for Caleb, was on TWO apartment waitlists and had a sitter all ready to go when I met Jeff. I had my SHIT together believe it or not.

People have judged me through and through and whats more disappointing is many of them were people I considered friends...now they are simply acquaintances. I was harassed, deleted and blocked on facebook over MY choices and even sent angry texts!

When you do NOT know the whole story you should not assume...Why is it so hard for others to ASK and not ASSUME...why I did what I did. Why assume and think so little of me?

The faith others had in me or lack therof I should say hurt more than others will ever know...Here we are nearly a YEAR later and BAM...still happy! Still no regrets! Still dont wish Id done things any other way!

I did what I felt was best. I listened to my heart. I followed the signs. Ya know this MAY sound crazy but I believe 100% that Jeff and I were put together by unseen forces. Some way somehow we were MEANT to be and I believe that!

Living within our means...

First I just want to say that this post is all about ME...so if YOU take anything personally that is your issue not mine!!!


This post is about me realizing what its like to live within our means...OUR meaning Jeff and I.
Jeff and I have spent A LOT of time talking about budgets, vehicles, houses...etc. What we have BOTH realized is we want as little of payments on things as possible...meaning as little DEBT as possible.

We will of course have a house payment as its VERY hard to buy a home without financing...LOL. However we have both realized that we CAN and WILL go without a car payment. That means we will never have a brand new fancy car. I am slowly making peace with that as I DO like shiny things...LOL.  However I understand.

Having a car payment isnt a necessity its a want. You can have a vehicle without one which means getting something older and im ok with that. We plan on purchasing an older excursion say year 2003. Its big roomy and drives well. All that we NEED. Wants sometimes have to get put on the back burner. Im not knocking anyone who has a new car or a payment just saying we are CHOOSING to go without.

Weve also decided to go a different route with a home. Instead of buying a traditional home we are going to go with a modular home that LOOKS like an actual home. Will have a foundation and everything! We both dont like the look traditional manufactured homes but are willing to go with modular type instead. We want to put it on land and have a small farm.

We only have one credit card and very few bills aside of that...Dish, Verizon, ATT, and internet. Thats all we have for now...LOL. Moving means taking on rent and utilities a luxury weve been able to forgo for awhile now. Good thing is though we will be living with the inlaws till our home is available for move in.

The house we will be renting is literally next door to my in-laws! Plus rent is VERY affordable. Which means we will be able to continue to live within our means and quite possibly save money which we havent been able to do on Jeffs current pay.

All in all we will be better off financially with this move and new job. Im excited!

Homemade crafts/activities

The creativity bug has bitten me. Im enjoying making these crafts vs buying them in the stores. Living where we live simply going to the store isnt an option anyhow...so thats when you get creative...LOL

This week alone weve made homemade playdough and bubbles!

This weekend will be spent making homemade dye for Easter eggs and finger paints!

You also have to get creative when having a special needs child who cannot have ANY artificial dyes

Here are the recipes for homemade playdough and bubbles...Feel free to share!

PLAYDOUGH: 2 cups white flour

1 cup salt

2 teaspoon Cream of Tartar

2 Tablespoons cooking oil

2 cups water

5-6 drops of food coloring of your choice

1 Tablespoons vanilla extract

With this recipe Food Coloring WAS used.

HOMEMADE BUBBLES:

1 gallon water

2/3 cup dishwashing soap

2-3 tbsp. glycerin

I have found that lessening the amount of water used(If any)produces MORE bubbles.

I will post pictures as soon as I locate my phone:P

Political Crap...yeah I went there!

This past week in particular was a very political time to be on Facebook. I mean politics was everywhere. From the Equal Rights agenda to the Gun Rights agenda. Obama was thrown in there somewhere...LOL. I proudly stated where I stood so as to leave no stone unturned. Most agreed with me some didnt...Thats ok. To be honest I could care less where YOU stand unless you attack ME for MY views. I get that we dont all agree. Im not angry at that...this world would be very boring if we all agreed wouldnt it...LOL.

The thing that gets me is people get so up in arms about these topics...they defend them to the death so to speak. Its always ok for them to spout their opinions but hell be damned if you do. I have never attacked anyone for their opinion. Ive stated mine but not attacked. In fact ive been thanked many times for remaining kind in light of speaking my opinions.

I dont see the point in even trying to convince the world that my way is the only way because guess what...it isnt. We can all be different, have different views, and parent differently BUT still be amazing good and law abiding citizens while having differing opinions. I mean really is it any secret how I feel about certain topics...no probably not. However I choose kindness over harsh words. All it does is alienate you from everyone else and for what...

I choose a different path than others. I have many friends from many different walks of life. We all choose to do things which we feel work best for our family. I often dont agree with many views and if asked I state why. However its OK to not agree...its never OK to attack someone no matter how strongly you feel on the topic. Many will use the "its abuse" excuse and as someone who has been physically beaten and abused by my own parents I DO get upset when that is thrown out there.

I do admit MY childhood has shaped how I view many issues. I simply dont see things the way that most do. Abuse is not the same to me as it seems to be to others. Ive been abused physically, sexually, mentally, emotionally and verbally growing up and endured much of that in my first marriage. I do not see circing as abuse nor do I see feeding your child formula as abuse. THOSE things I do NOT agree with but I simply do not see them as abusive.

With that said...I close with this...Parent how you feel is best. Be political in whatever way suits you...but never attack someone for they feel or think.

Im not sure if this post in particular made any sense but I tried...LOL.

Disappointed

We spent nearly all of Spring Break in WA visiting family and job hunting. Jeff had been told prior to the visit that he got the job then low and behold he goes in to supposedly sign paperwork and its another interview! The company itself decided to hire within. Im just aggravated that he was drug along for nothing. I mean why not come out and speak the truth. Anyhoo...Our plans are still to move to WA just not as soon as planned. Since this has happened Jeffs already gotten calls about more opportunities. He has a phone interview scheduled soon and I pray it goes well. Well thats our update for now...stay tuned!

Notice!

I permanently deleted my old blog that I had made private. I created this one alittle while ago for public use and just now made an actual private one for my use only. Sometimes we need a safe and private place to vent or cry ya know. I dont want to be judged for my thoughts so I keep some private.

A sudden realization

I just had a sudden realization today. The one thing that was good about being a military wife was were able to purchase a home with no money down. Jeff is not nor has he ever been military. Believe it or not Im actually glad! However its dawned on me that we cannot ever purchase a home since we will most likely never be able to put money down. We are destined to be renters forever.

Theres pros and cons to renting...however at this point in time I can only see the negatives. I just dont like the idea of paying someone elses mortgage or relying on them should something break. Im limited as to what I can do. Will they let me paint the walls? Will they mind if I garden? Can we have farm animals....etc? SO many limitations.

Pros I guess would be should something break its not on us...OF course thats if its even covered in the lease!
I am just really saddened by this. I mean there are options like Rent-to-Own but im sure they are limitations and drawbacks ya know? I need to except the fact that we will always be renters but its hard. I mean what if the landlords suddenly decide to sell...We have to move because of course we wont be able to buy it.

Pause for Break and research...


So I did some research and it turns out they are actually options since we would be considered first time home buyers. FHA for example requires little to no money down and you do not need a high credit score.
Talked to the husband and he still wants to rent for one year so we can find a home we both love. Which I get but still frustrating ya know? Anyhoo...We will rent but in the meantime I will contact mortgage companies and see what we need to do to raise our credit scores and save for a down payment. It will motivate us to save...LOL.

Heres to the future!

A little something we all need reminding of...

YOU are an amazing mother...yes you! No matter what anyone says. No matter if you adopted, fostered or gave birth to your child. You are still amazing! You are amazing whether you breastfeed or formula feed, whether you co-sleep or not, whether you wear your child or not...you are all still so amazing. The beauty of motherhood is there is no one way to do it. You have to find your groove with parenting and dive right in. Being a parent no matter how you come into is one of the hardest things you can do, if not the hardest! Embrace it. Be you and dont let others control your choices. Its clear we all have very strong opinions in regards to mothering but it does not mean you have to alienate others. The battles consists of:

Breastfeeding VS Formula feeding
Circumcision VS Uncircumcision
Vaccinating VS Not Vaccinating
Co-sleeping VS Not Co-sleeping
Cloth diapering VS Disposables
SAHM VS Paid Working Job
Cry it out VS attending to your childs cries
Forward Facing VS Rear Facing and so on and so on...


There are so many choices to be made as a mother why would you make it your lifes mission to make anyone feel bad about those choices. Anyone who knows me knows where I stand on most things but also knows that I am open minded and willing to listen to arguments for or against.
No subject is off limits to me. No subject is 100% for me. I love hearing both sides and making an education choice on that subject. So I do change my mind especially when presented with facts and evidence or having done my own research and made a choice with what im comfortable with. I dont know many who as mothers came into mother hood with one idea and didnt change it at one point in time. Motherhood is about growing and learning!

Ill close this post by saying that NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE AN AMAZING MOTHER! NEVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE OR MAKE YOU FEEL OTHERWISE!

Learning not to Envy Others...

THIS is something ive honestly struggled with. Seeing someone get something nice, new and shiny...All I can do is drool. Then it turns into jealousy and me hating on that product till im over it.

Yup thats just childish and I know it. I know im a better person than that. But my whole life watching others all I wanted was to be THEM. Dress like them, be popular like them...etc. I never did really learn to be happy with what I had till recently. Im still struggling with envy but it has gotten better. This tax season was actually the easiest for me. I did not spend my time envying others. I worked on getting what I wanted...because I wanted those things. Not because it was the "it" thing to do ya know?

The hardest one for me it seems is cars...Quite a few people got brand new cars and of course I was jealous and upset that I couldnt get one. The fact is im married to a man who will never drive a new car. Not because we cant afford one but because he prefers older cars. Always has always will.  And to be honest I actually DO love my odyssey. Its not new or fancy but I love it all the same. I will never have a car that has built in DVD/Nav or leather for that matter.

I just have to remind myself that a new car isnt whats important right now...my new son and two other kids are. Making my marriage work is. Staying healthy is...etc. I need to remember to focus on those things and stop envying others when there is no need. Others can have and do deserve those nice things and thats not wrong. I however am going to work on being OK. Im going to work on not needing those nice, new and shiny things.

It wont happen over night. But I will get there. I still have so many insecurities from my past that have invaded my present. Its daunting to be honest. Insecurities have driven so many of my choices and I hate that. I can and will be a stronger person. I will not care what others do, say or have. My focus should be on me and my family. Ugh wish me luck...